You seemed happy with your friends

But never too happy with me. 

That sucks. 

Cuddle Weather

When it rains,

And the temp just right, 

Feels like a good time to be happy,

But somehow your favourite weather isn’t enough, 

When nothing you do seems to be enough,

And everything you say is met with a frown, 

I feel like a jobless clown, 

Trying to impress an imaginary crowd

All I want is 

a sincere smile, 

a secret hug, 

a longing gaze,

a sincere heart,

a deserving heart. 

It hurts

It hurts not being the reason for your lover’s smile. 

It hurts to constantly fail at making your loved one laugh.

It hurts to want to feel hurt because it feels wrong,

It hurts feeling like a failure everyday. 

They say breaking up from a would-be relationship shouldn’t hurt

I’ve been on this journey for quite some time,

I know which fights I should pursue,

And which ones I should give up on,

There are things that the heart wants,

And should be prioritised accordingly,

While there are things that the heart needs, 

And shouldn’t be compromised. 

I’m not asking for much,

Just a fair game play, 

One with a consistent set of bylaws,

One that doesn’t change its rules as you wish, 

For you can’t need me only when you want to,

For I can’t miss you only when you let me to,

For things can’t be nice only when we feel they should. 

Call me selfish, call me a fool, 

I can’t stop what I feel, nor do I want to,

Some things need be said, 

because they clutch at the heart,

Like a bad seed down your throat, 

Choking you but its not fatal,

Do I wanna feel choked all the time? No. 

Call me a dreamer, believer of fairy tales,

Wishing for love and kindness each and everyday,

But it wasn’t me who believed in magic, 

It wasn’t me who believed in non-consequentialism, 

It wasn’t me who thought I could get away,

It wasn’t me who thought things were okay because I said so.

They say breaking up from a would-be relationship shouldn’t hurt.

Because none of it is real.

But it hurts nonetheless, 

And the loss is very much real,

And these tears are real too, 

But sometimes… sometimes love alone won’t do, 

Its the bitter truth no one is ready to face 

Broken

So broken

And torn

And thinned

Could’ve just disappeared into thin air

But here I am

Broken, torn and thinned out. 

Not the same person.

I used to beg,

I used to hope,

When broken, tried to mend, to cope,

Fed with lies and more lies,

Couldn’t keep up with the dust in my eyes,

Soft on the inside, 

Weak on the outside, 

Manned up for the wrong things, 

Patching up broken wings, 

But that was then, 

That was before,

Not the same person anymore.

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