Saturday, 19 May 2018

It will rain

If you ever leave me baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore.

- It will rain, Bruno Mars

Friday, 18 May 2018

How Much Enoughs Are Actually Enough?

On and on,
Bit by bit,
Pieces by pieces,
You tore my heart away.
What was once broken,
Mended by tears and unforgiving madness,
Barely whole and shattered again.
Again and again,
This poor heart of mine,
Carrying more than it could bear,
Helplessly drowning in despair,
Chained to the bottom of a vast sea,
Stupidly waiting to be rescued by a storm,
That would bring out the evil from the deep,
Out to the surface and by god you will weep

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

I removed myself from the world on your birthday.
Lets see how long does it take for you to realize im gone.

I know you searched some people on instagram on almost a daily basis but im not one of those people.

I know the kind of body, skin colour, height and characteristics that you lust for,
And i don’t have any of them.

All I’m wishing for is for me to be enough.
No one else.
No need to cover up by saying niat nak buat kawan.
I’m not a child anymore.

The only reason I refused to argue further is because I’m sick of seeing you
making a big fool of yourself by telling lies and more lies.

And you knew I was right. I was right all along.
And you knew the pain I chose to swallow.
And you knew I died on the inside
And you knew everything

But you’re never sorry.

Nothing is worth my pain

Sometimes,
Kita kena pandai jaga hati orang,
Bukan sebab kita salah,
Tapi sebab kita sayang orang tu.

Kadang-kadang kita tahu
Benda yang kita buat tu akan sakitkan hati orang,
Tapi kita buat juga, ambil risiko,
Sebab kita tau orang tu bodoh sikit,
Takkan kemana. Pujuk sikit ok lah.
Kan?

Sometimes,
Kita rasa kita kuat, kita rasa hebat,
Tak perlu dikongkong, kena bebas,
Tapi bila orang dah tawar hati,
Kita gelabah fikir hari-hari yang akan tiba,
Mesti sunyi, mesti kosong,
So kita dengan selfishnya cuba pulihkan keadaan,
Bukan sebab sayang,
Bukan sebab cinta,
Tapi takut sunyi, takut untuk dibenci,

Bak kata Dua Lipa
“Do we need somebody?,
Just to feel like we’re alright?
Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight
Cause we’re scared to be lonely?”

Dalam bercinta,
Bila dah sayang someone,
Nothing,
I repeat,
Nothing is worth that person’s tears.

Kita akan buang segala ego,
Buang segala benci,
Buang rasa terkongkong,
Because we know that person is worth all that, and more.





Sunday, 10 December 2017

Effort

Go the distance,
Run the extra mile,
Overkill,
Make me smile

Don’t be satisfied,
Never settle down,
Break a leg,
Ease my frown

When I say you don’t have to,
I wouldn’t mind if you do,
Show some effort,
Don’t stop at “I love you”

Tuesday, 21 November 2017

Rasa macam...

Rasa macam bom,
Sikit lagi nak letup,
Tapi kita simpan, kuatkan pertahanan,
Tak nak meledak, ramai mati nanti
Kau mungkin tak pernah lah rasa,
Macam rindu tapi diam-diam je,
Tak boleh tunjuk sangat,
Sebab nanti orang rimas,
Bila orang rimas, dia lagi jauhkan diri,
Pastu kita makin sepi sendu sesorang,
Pikir apasal lah tak boleh kawal sikit,
Apasal tak boleh padam kan sikit rasa sayang tu,
Yelah kita nak pergi jauh,
Lepas ni nak jumpa sebulan sekali pun jangan harap,
Sementara ada masa ni,
Kita teringin juga lah nak manja-manja,
Buat kenangan bila berjauhan mata,
Nanti susah jumpa


Tapi tulah,
Tak tau nak luah kat siapa,
Maka aku tulis kat blog,
Yang aku tau kau tak pernah buka,
Berapa tahun kemudian mungkin kau akan baca,
Tapi aku tak mengharap sangat lah,
Aku sedar aku ni siapa,
Terhegeh kat kau,
Kalau betul kau sayang aku,
Kau tak buat aku macam ni.
Tak payah manis mulut,
Tak payah cover cakap sayang cinta blah2.
Aku tau lah apa kau rasa sebenarnya,
Tapi aku tetap bodohkan diri,
Bunuh ego bunuh benci aku,
Sebab aku sayang kau.
Tapi kau tak sayang aku macam aku sayang kau.
Kau kata kau tak reti tunjuk,
Tapi hakikatnya kau pun kadang-kadang ragu.
Pastu taknak nampak kau jahat sangat,
Kau pun cakaplah kau ada perasaan pada aku

Its been going on and on and on
Tapi aku stay
Bukan sebab aku tak laku,
Bukan sebab aku tak boleh move on,
Tapi sebab aku sayang.
And so far as of today on 21/11/17, kau still tak paham

Kalau kau tahulah betapa sunyi hidup aku,
Eventhough secara rasminya ada yang tersayang,
Tapi aku tak pernah rasa sesunyi macam ni,
Sampai kena mengadu kat blog.
Sebab aku kenal kawan aku,
Kalau aku citer hal kau,
Semua akan paksa aku putuskan hubungan dengan kau.
Tapi diorang tak paham,
Aku kalau dah sayang sampai mati.
Berapa kali aku cuba nak tinggalkan kau,
Tapi sekali kau pujuk, terus aku lembut hati.
Lepas kau pujuk, kau tak maintain,
Kau biarkan aku sunyi balik.
Macam mana aku nak explain kat kengkawan aku?
Diorang takkan paham soal hati.


Jadi kemudiannya aku tanggung sesorang,
Sunyi sesorang,
Bila kau ada roomate, tidur selalu berteman,
Aku ada siapa? Nak videocall pun kadang-kadang takut ganggu roomate kau
Rasa macam, eh aku ni ada partner ke tidak ni?

Entahlah.

Monday, 13 November 2017

Cheat

The hardest part about being cheated on,
Is wondering if the other guy was worth my pain,
And knowing the answer might probably be... yes.