Wednesday 12 December 2012

Temani mimpiku

Saat tertutup mata ini,
Ku tinggalkan resah dunia,
Yang ku bawa hanya namamu,
Ku seru dalam khayal,
Ku sebut dalam rindu

Aku jaga dalam tidur,
Di sana kau setia bersamaku,
Menggenggam erat jari-jemari,
Di tepian sungai Nil,
Membisik kata rindu

Ada kalanya kita terbang,
Tersenyum wajah tersayang,
Mengubat rindu di waktu jaga,
Dihujani salju waktu senja,
Hanya kita berdua di sana

Terkadang aku keliru,
Dalam jaga kucari bayangmu,
Ku seru namamu khayal dan rindu,
Tidak sabar meninggalkan resah,
Saat tertutup mata ini.



Tuesday 20 November 2012

=)


"and yes there are times when I hate you but I don't complaint,
Coz I've been afraid that you would walk away,
Oh but now I don't hate you,
I'm happy to say that
I WILL BE THERE AT THE END OF THE DAY"


Monday 12 November 2012

Andai

Andai dapat ku hentikan waktu,
Dan putarkan ke masa lalu,
Akan ku lakukan,
Tapi ku tak mampu,
Di luar kudratku

Andai dapat ku hentikan tangisan,
Yang keluar semalaman,
Akan ku cuba,
Tak mampu ku lawan,
Sesak jantung menyiksakan

Andai dapat kau cari,
Di mana letaknya hati ini,
Akan kau lihat,
Dalam dirimu sendiri,
Dalam genggam jari-jemari




P/s : teruskanlah, teruskanlah.

Sunday 11 November 2012

Let's Talk About Professionalism.

The word professional does not adhere to a certain guidelines made by some crackpot fools. It depends on your surroundings. Say, if you were in war zone, wearing neckties and slacks are so out of place people might think you wanna die in style. Or making jokes in front of your customers is not a bad thing to do, if you're a clown. Yeah you get what I'm shitting bout here.

BUT, there are codes of communications which must be followed no matter who you are, as long as it is in your WORKING SPACE.

Respect. Making fun of your colleagues in front of your clients, so not professional. If you're a doctor, that's twice the sin. Jokes and respect should come hand in hand. If you are not able to do that, stop trying hard to make jokes in public. Its embarrassing and awkward, not only for you, but for the audience as well.

Dress code. Hey, Egyptian universities don't have specific dress codes. Not for classes, not for rounds. Even so, have you seen anyone wearing slippers to class? Yes you have. Yourself. Whoever you are, please stop wearing slippers to a formal educational institute. Its hard to take you seriously. I mean, seriously? Slippers and track bottoms to your medical classes? What were you thinking?

I have been taught that dressing up to the standard is not only for the myself, but also for the people around me. Stop making people feel awkward in your presence. That's the key.

Cleanliness. People, I know its winter now and the temperature is quite low in the mornings. PLEASE TAKE A BATH. OR STAY AWAY FROM PUBLIC PLACES. OR DIE. You are a pollution to the world. You stink and my nose bleeds when you pass by. Don't just bathe, please brush your teeth too. Nobody likes talking to a shithole. If you have medical problems like gingivitis or or diabetic ketoacidosis which make your breath stink as hell even after cleaning your mouth, do consult your doctor and meanwhile take every precaution to prevent bad breath. Oh yes, breakfast in the morning before you go out because if you don't, chances are that the rancid acidic smell from your stomach would escape through your mouth and people would call your "perut busuk". Not a pleasant thing.



p/s : labcoats are super cool and its so cool it makes you the most gorgeous guy in town. And its professional.

Tuesday 16 October 2012

Summer in Malaysia

So, here I am. 3 days away from my flight to Egypt.

I am neither sad nor happy. Extremely indifferent to the situation.

Considering I would not be coming back here for about 2 years and 3 months, the fact that I would miss my bestie's wedding, and also my brother's wedding... I should feel something? But sadly, (or should i feel thankful that I'm not on a nervous breakdown or something?) I am emotionally drained. To me, the holiday ended a long time ago. The school break was still on, but my heart longed to be back in Egypt. Back to the simple life I led there.

I guess only a few people know what I'm really going through. The experience that I got this year changed me. In a good way. Somehow I feel a bit more prepared for whatever the future holds. I've learnt that life is short - learn to appreciate the ones who appreciate you.

I have also learned that seriously, doubly seriously, if you don't have substance - love, passion, honesty, kindness, respect - you ain't going nowhere.

And lastly, friendship is the only bond that lasts (excluding family ties. that's never gonna break too, no matter how you don't like it). I thank Allah for granting me friendships that lasts since they started. To those  friends which i chose to let go, I believed it was for the best. These let-go's were heartbreaking, but necessary. I think. I don't know, but do believe that breaking a friendship is better than creating an enemy. Part ways, and move on different paths. No harm done whatsoever to our futures.

In the short span of two and a half months here in KL, I have gotten myself into a mixture of situations. There were times I felt love so great it was overwhelming - I never thought I would feel that way again. But I did, and still do. Thank you for never giving up on me. There were times when I had conflicts all around, and nobody was there for me but my depressing blog. *peluk blog kuat-kuat*. And there were family issues here and there, as usual, but through it all, we became closer to one another. Alhamdulillah.

I consider myself extremely lucky.

so yeah, I would like to end this entry with a few things I put in my wishlist for the coming academic year.
1) start taking guitar lessons. like really learn to play. I have a guitar in Egypt but never plucked a tune with it.
2) I wanna get serious at getting back in shape. seriously. doubly serious.
3) be a better person.

(academic la sgt wishlist aku kan?)

Monday 15 October 2012

Impian Seorang Narsis

Ada ketika dia bermimpi,
Untuk menjadi sempurna,
Dikagumi dan digilai ramai,
Setiap katanya bagai kanun,
Dipercayai penuh otomatis,
Dalam konteks dunia sosialis,
Rupa gaya dan harta yang terutama,
Hati dan budi kedua ketiga,
Mudah hidup sedemikian,
Segala rintangan ditempuh rupawan

Tuesday 9 October 2012

Tenanglah Di Sana

Dunia ini tak sempurna bagimu,
Terlalu banyak cela,
Tidak memahami dirimu,
Pintamu yang tertinggi,
Kau impi yang terdalam,
Jasadmu di bumi,
Kudratmu sejauh musytari
Kau istimewa tersendiri

Pergilah, pergilah,
Tiada lagi buatmu di sini,
Tiada hutang yang perlu dijelas,
Tiada dendam yang perlu dibalas,
Tenanglah di sana,
Di dalam taman syurga,
Kelak ketemu bersama,
Tiada duka, hanya bahagia

Thursday 13 September 2012

Do you?

As we sit on the ground,
Wind caressing our faces,
The smell of rain in the air,
Damp soft grass pillow our seats,
Do you feel how I feel?

Pretty lights around the park,
Happy people laugh out loud,
A pretty plane flew above us,
Twinkling red and blue lights,
Do you see what I see?

My heart beating fast,
Breathing becomes uneven,
Blood vessels pulsating in my ears,
I hide these with a deep sigh,
Do you hear what I hear?

I see visions of us coming here again,
Hand in hand side by side,
Talking about the last visit,
Tickled by memories of the past,
Do you want what I want?

Fountain Of A Thousand Wishes

Where do I find,
The fountain of a thousand wishes,
If a penny grants a desire,
I could spend a fortune,
And a penny more than I could ever afford,
To stop the time,
Spend an eternity by your side,
Just looking at you




Tuesday 11 September 2012

Unmet desires.

I don't know why,
at times i feel so empty,
like a dying battery,
the metallic taste of both poles,
doesn't reflect the life it holds,
the end has come,
to its end it shall succumb.

I don't know why,
This whole life business is tiring,
too much regrets and too much worrying,
we start our day with so many visions,
but the day ends with so many questions,
we are heroes in our dreams,
and wake up to be slaves of our dreams.

I don't know why,
We have desires,
Craving that never tires,
Need to get rid of these longings,
of love, of care, of things,
Necessities make us weak,
Needs make us bleak,

and desires make us fools.

Sunday 9 September 2012

Ko buat tak betul, Aku buat takpe

Pernah tak korang jumpa orang jenis macam ni? Jenis yang kalau die buat sesuatu benda salah tu, its ok. But kalau org lain buat, TAKBOLEH!

Macam masa kecik-kecik, orang tua-tua cakap "jangan makan leher ayam, nanti masa kahwin ko dapat torticolis (yakni teleng)." but at the end of the meal, die yang nyotnyot semua leher ayam. Bila kita tanya, ade je alasan die contohnya

"aku dah kawin siap bersanding lama dah"
"oh, budak2 je yang takleh makan leher ayam"
"ko lain, aku lain"


Apa korang buat dengan situasi macam nih? Susah nak argue dengan orang yang bias dan tidak mempunyai rasional yang tetap. Adalah, seorang hamba Allah nih... Bila die nampak kesalahan aku buat, die punya tegur sumpah pedas-pedas macam kuah ayam penyet. Berpeluh telinga kau dengar. Silap-silap bernanah, cholesteatoma semua dapat. Ok over.

but kalau die buat benda yang sama, ehhh, ok jahhh. Aada jek alasan die bagi. Alasan yang kadang-kadang merepek dan tak diterima akal pun ade.

Contoh lah, kalau orang kentut in public, wow kemain carut kutuk lagi. But kalau die yang kentut in public, kemain lagi alasannya... Makanan pedas sangat lah, kurang minum air lah, rasa tak sihat jadik tak boleh kawal injap punggung lah. Memang kau tak dapat nak lawan la bro. Tiaw camner lah, memang bukan salah die kalau die kentut in public. Everything else in the world is to be blamed but not him.

Again, ape aku nak buat kalau jumpa lagi dengan orang macam ni?

Thursday 30 August 2012

The Wall

You build a wall around you,
For my benefit you say,
But your wall is see-through,
It stops me from getting to you,
But it doesn't stop my longing for you

Thursday 26 July 2012

Puisi Tentang Awan

Hai Awan,
Temani daku seketika,
Aku ingin berbicara,
Tentang kamu, tentang rasa,
Kau indah, kau besar,
Tidak mungkin kau sepi,
Tenang digegas angin,
Megah di dada langit
Apa mungkin kau berontak,
Dalam diam mungkin kau sedih,
Dalam tenang mungkin kau derita,
Tak berkudrat mengikut saja


Hai Awan,
Ku ingin terbang seperti kamu,
Terapung nyaman di terik mentari,
Tidak punya hati atau kaki,
Yang keduanya mampu berfikir sendiri,
Cemburu ku terkadang meluap,
Bila kau lindung cahaya mentari,
Kau sungguh disayangi,
Mudah sungguh tugasmu,
Tak perlu ini dan itu,
Hanya wujud,
Dan disayangi

Wednesday 25 July 2012

Tumis-tumis Ramadhan #3 #4 #5 #6


Hello people, I'm back. Pergh rasa macam ade pembaca, padahal berapa orang je bukak blog aku. Anywayyyy, untuk malam ke-3 Ramadhan, Makaroni Sup ayam aku ada lagi, so aku panaskan je aahahha.

#4. Kari Ayam Pantas Anak Bujang Ala Mesir (KAPABAM)

Exam was canceled on this day, I didn't sleep the whole night like I always did for my previous exams. When I got the news that it was canceled, BAM!! terus bantai tido sampai pukul 6 petang. Zuhur habis dilanggar. I woke up, panicked because iftar was an hour away and there was nothing to cook. Dengan gaya Dr. Derek Shepherd, solat Zuhur dengan Asar, lari-lari anak ke kedai Fares dan beli sekilo peha/betis ayam. Pantas gaya seorang pakar bedah, potong ayam dah tadaaa~ siap kari ayam dalam masa 30 minit plus minus. *bangga*

This was how my chicken currey KAPABAM looked like.

KAPABAM with bread. Katakan TAKNAK pada nasi! (padahal next entry masak bubur!)

Tak payah kot bagi resepi kari ayam. Noobs pun boleh buat, plus banyak je websites yang offer resepi kari ayam. Nak sama macam aku punya, kena siap dalam masa 45 minit termasuk pergi kedai dan siang ayam =) baru sama jadik KAPABAM. Kbye.

Puasa hari ke-5 aku bantai tidur lepas exam sama macam hari semalam (tapi sempat solat Zuhur ya). In fact this time makan megi sajor. Sedeyh. Tamau update pasal Tumis-tumis Ramadhan #5



#6 Bubur Lambuk Resepi Keluarga Hajah Safiah

The night before, I called my family back in Malaysia. Called my mama, then my aunty. Spent about 20 minutes talking to each one of them, but an extra 5 minutes, just extra FIVE (5) yakni khamsa minutes with my aunty to ask her the recipe of our family's famous bubur lambuk.

So yeah, for the 6th iftar, we bought Thai rice (the Egyptian rice won't do because its too sticky). Konon nak bagi lagi sedap, we picked beras wangi. THIS IS WRONG. We should've picked the normal Thai rice because when we cooked the bubur, we spent half of the time figuring out how to mask the sweet natural fragrant from the rice which could put off the taste of the other ingredients. Time needed to cook alone is about an hour. So yeah, be patient and passionate. Kita masak dengan hati. Kbye.

What you need,
1) A huge pot to cook the bubur.
2) Keyakinan dan kesabaran yang tinggi.

Ingredients
1) 1.5 cups of NORMAL Thai rice
2) About 4.5 cups of water
3) Half a chicken, cut into small very pieces, shredded even.
4) About 300 grams of meat. Cut into very small pieces.
5) Carrrots, peas, potatoes, diced. (enough to fill 1 cup)
6) 2 medium onions and 4 cloves of garlic, hiris halus2 ye
7) Cooking oil (1/2 cups)
8) 2 cups of coconut milk (kalau guna serbuk, use 1.5 or 2 packets)
9) 6 uncang sup bunjut (blended. net tu jangan blend sekali. jangan buat gilo.)
10) Salt and pepper

Let's rock em good.
1) Masak beras dengan air tu sampai die lebih lembik dari nasi
2) Masukkan ayam dan daging
3) Masukkan rempah sup bunjut yang dah hancur dan kacau semua bagi sebati.
4) Jangan sampai kering bubur kau, masukkan santan
5) Biar masak dengan api kecil, jangan sampai kering, bila nak kering je, tambah AIR PANAS sikit.
6) bawang merah dan putih yang dihiris tuh, tumis dengan minyak tadi sampai brown-brown. Jangan sampai hitam sangat. Kau curah je bawang dengan minyak2 sekali dalam bubur yang tengah masak tuh.
7) Agak2 semua da masak tuh, tutup api, baca doa (sebab aku orang Zagazig), makan.

Tadaa~
P/S : Its not as easy and simple as it looks.


Oh kat belakang tu ada ayam goreng. Kau tanye aku camne nak goreng ayam, aje nak kene penampo


Saturday 21 July 2012

Tumis-tumis Ramadhan #1 and #2

Ok, tatau nak tulis ape. So i guess why not put in things I cook every single day this Ramadhan untuk buka puasa (and moreh/sahur kalau ada).So this Ramadhan, I kinda made a promise to myself to not consume rice. Nak diet sebab nak hensem pakai baju raya la kaedahnye.


#1. Laksa Johor
Jadi, masa hari pertama puasa, saya masak Laksa Johor. Got the recipe from http://www.myresipi.com/top/detail/1837. Tapi takde ikan tenggiri/kembung/watsoever. So I substituted with SHREDDED TUNA in CANS. 2 tin dah cukup. Accessories lebih2 macam udang, fishcake, daun kesum semua takde, but rasa still sedap XD. Sesimple sudah, makanan bujang. Yang penting, kerisik buat sendiri okeh!


it doesn't look much, but it tastes good!


#2. Makaroni Sup Ayam

Masa puasa kedua, tetiba rasa ingin makan makanan yang lebih sihat, sebab malam sebelumnya tiba2 Baraka Catering, restoran Indonesia di Zagazig jemput makan free. Jadik dah punah janji tamau makan nasi. So konon nak makan yang lebih sihat, fikir la buat sup-sup ala kadar. Tapi, sup je kenyang kew? Teringat pulak Aunty Bentet selalu buat Sup Makaroni. So yeah, why not??? hahahah dapat resipi dari sini ResepiAja.Com. Tapi saya masak makaroni asing, sebab nk simpan lama sikit untuk sahur. Kalau masak sekali takut cepat lembik/basi etc.


Hamek kau ayam kemain besau. Malas potong kecik-kecik. Orang bujang enn~ kbye











Kata Ganti Nama

Saya menulis entri ini sebab ada banyak dah pengalaman. HAHAHAHA. ok skema. Anywayyyy, I'm sure u guys make new friends every now and then. Aku just nk tau, apa yang menentukan kata ganti nama yang korang akan guna dengan kawan baru korang?

Ada orang yang jenis gunakan "aku/kau" untuk semua kengkawan die.
Ada yang guna "aku/kau" untuk kawan sama jantina, dan "saya/awak/i/you" utk yg lain jantina.
Ada pulak mmg tak reti guna selain "saya/awak".

and the list goes on....

Pernah tak korang dapat kawan baru, and masa mula-mula korang guna "I/You", lepas tu korang rasa tak serasi dengan jiwa kental korang dan one of u suggests that you guys should change to "aku/engkau".
Then comes the awkwardness every time nak guna kata ganti nama. Most of the time, korang akan cuba tukar ayat supaya tak perlu gunakan kata ganti nama.

 contoh :

nak cakap "Ko da makan belum?" 
korang tukar "weh, da makan blum?" 
atau pendekkan lagi jadik "makan dah?" 

betul tak?

ape2lah carenye supaya tak jadik awkward bila nak guna "aku/kau". Do know tat the awkwardness affects both of you. Not just one side.

Lol. 

Just so you know, when you try to change the terms, make sure it doesn't offend the other party. Plus, people, its just a term that you use to represent yourselves. Nothing more, don't make it a big thing. Ada orang selesa guna "aku/kau", ada yg selesa jadik matsaleh guna "I/U". Whatever convenient for both parties. Just so you know.




masih tak pernah rasa selesa dengan "Ana/Enta" selepas 4 tahun di Mesir

Wednesday 20 June 2012

Jujur

Jujur aku bukan manusia mulia,
Aku selalu berharap kau mendapat celaka,
Agar diriku menjadi tempat kau mengadu duka,
Bahuku menjadi medan kau menadah airmata.

Jujur aku manusia hipokrit,
Ku ingin kau lemah supaya ku jadi penguatmu,
Ku mahu menjadi sandaran harapanmu,
Tanpaku kau gugur tanpa tuju

Jujur aku tamak haloba,
Obses dengan dirimu tanpa batasan,
Ku genggam tangan hingga ke nisan,
Engkau milikku, tiada alasan


Jujur, aku mencintaimu

Thursday 17 May 2012

Break the cycle

I don't know if your read my blog,
If you do please read it well,
All the things that I can't say,
All the things that I want you to know,
They're here,
Written in sad verses,
Waiting to be understood.


Love is about giving everything,
Only about giving,
That much I know is true,
When two people in love provide for one another,
That is a relationship.
If you find yourself holding back,
You are not in love.
If you don't get anything in return,
You are not in a relationship



I am tired of all these love, relationship thingy,
What I want is security,
Someone to promise me eternal happiness,
A break to the cycle of heartbreaks and temporary fulfillment ,
Will I ever get what I want,
Sigh

Wednesday 16 May 2012

Monday 14 May 2012

Kenangan



Memory all alone in the moonlight,
I can smile at the old days,
Life was beautiful then,
I remember the time I knew what happiness was,
Let the memories live again...

-Cats

some memories are too precious to be forgotten.

Sunday 13 May 2012

Menahan



"If you love something set it free. If it comes back to  you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." 



Taking a step backward, holding back all progress for the sake of progress.


Saturday 12 May 2012

Harapan


When you put all your hopes for happiness on someone's shoulder, and the moment you realize if the person shrugs your precious hopes would fall to the ground and break. 


awesomely sweet, but terribly stupid thing to do

Saturday 28 April 2012

Oh kamu!

Tahukah kamu senyummu menggugat,
Setiap pori menyimbah keringat,
Rasa gugup debaran teramat,
Biacaramu sungguh memikat

Dalam senyummu terlindung duka,
Inginku kongsi segala seksa,
Berpimpin tangan menongkah semesta,
Persetankan jarak dan juga masa

Tiada wajah seindah milikmu,
Lirik matamu racun bermadu,
Buatku ketagih juga cemburu,
Siapa teruna dalam hatimu?

Lama sudah ku putus ilham,
Dirimu datang bagaikan nilam,
Terasa cerah seluruh alam,
Terlupa segala sejarah silam

Wahai puspaku sayang,
Jangan biarkan jiwaku melayang,
Temani mimpiku malam dan siang,
Engkaulah bulan akulah bintang

Beriku sedikit lagi waktu,
Untuk meluah rasa kalbu,
Izinku menulis sebait lagu,
Lagu cinta buat oh kamu!

Saturday 21 April 2012

Life At Half The Speed

When you're not with me,
Time is purgatory,
I watch the seconds go by,
Like little ducks trying to fly,

They don't go anywhere.

Breathing is twice as loud,
My senses numb as a cloud,
The soul is adrift randomly,
Failing to grasp reality,

My heart is with you.

Missing you means an eternal night,
Couldn't find the morning light,
Trying to stand, trying to fight,
The emptiness twice as might,

I need you

Monday 2 April 2012

Pretender

I believe I am such a good liar that whatever I say seems to be so convincing, even though the things that I say are so far away from the truth. I keep too many things inside, that sometimes I feel like I'm living another world. A world full of deceit and dishonesty.

I pretend like I don't care, but the truth is I care more than anyone else in the world. I tell people I'm fine, but my closest friends know I'm not. Therefore I am very grateful to have some of the most understanding friends in the world.

As you all may know, secrets aren't easy to be kept. They have a will of their own. A will to be made known to whoever the secrets are being kept from. They scrape your insides, forever wanting to get out. The thing is, nobody knows what would happen if they do get out. They are called secrets for some reasons, no?

I don't know how long can I hold these scrapings and scratchings. I really don't.

Friday 17 February 2012

Play it cold

"When you get what you want, but not what you need..."

Sometimes in life, we are clueless. Don't feel ashamed when you do. Well at least, I'm not. I've read enough to generalize that at one point in life, EVERYONE goes through that period of time when life seems a little extraterrestrial. I've had a few moments like that myself. Like now, for instance, I'm clueless.

I'm here in Egypt, surrounded by great housemates, superb friends, supportive family, but there is this tiny winy hole in my heart/brain that seems to be hollow. What was it that filled that little space? Was it love? Was it god?

Like all the clueless people out there, I am in search for what's within. What is the thing that I really want? And all the rhetorical questions pop out like annoying advertisements in porno websites.

"Who are you, really?"
"Why are you here?"
"Who are you trying to impress?"
"When will you be happy and fulfilled?"
"What is happiness and fulfillment?"

Relationship-wise, I am starting to think that I am hanging my hopes for happiness on the wrong tree. Somehow it is unreachable, hence, I am at a point of giving up. Is it worth waiting? Are you worth the pain? This time, cupid really did hit me hard, but his second arrow missed you. I want to give up, I want to move on. I am weighing my options. If giving up is as painful as continuing to hope, I'd rather hope and suffer. But, why is it so hard to give you up when you're not even mine? (now is the moment you point this out - why would you feel pain if you give up? Doesn't that mean you are still hoping? Have you ever tried giving up, Syam?)

After crowding my thoughts with inner conversations that traverse a very short and fast route between my heart and brain, I begin to wonder; Is it you that I really want and crave for? Or is it just my reflex mechanism against indirect rejection(s)?

I am clueless.

But one thing I know, I love you.

Even though you don't love me the way I love you.
Even though you don't see me the way I see you.

I am clueless, confused with my own actions. I don't know what to do. And I'm sorry for loving you and making things hard for you. Do know that these feelings come naturally. I've never nurtured them, or started them consciously, nor have I encouraged these longing for you, and in fact, I respect the boundaries and stash all my feelings for you. I don't know, I just do. I just... love you.

I'm praying for my pain and sufferings to fade, for my inner peace and calm.
But at the same time I can't stop myself wishing that you have feelings for me too.

But, I do want to see you happy. You have such a beautiful smile. My consciousness tells me that I don't deserve that smile, and it shall never be mine. So here I am, playing it cold. Hoping for the impossible, and ultimately, clueless.

Wednesday 18 January 2012

Rumah Sakit

Rumah sakit (read : Homesick)

I believe this disease hits almost everyone who studies abroad, at least once a year. Being 8000km away is not as hard as it seems, but when the sickness comes, there's no running from it except to Allah for his guidance. These are the times when I recall those times when I saw mama's tired face after working, and aunty's sad face when I lost her car. I feel guilty for not making them happier, for being such burden to them. Even sadder if I recall those happy moments when I was a child, pampered here an there, such high hopes in their eyes. Can I live up to their expectations, what can I do to give back?

Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting too much time studying when I should be working and helping the family physically, and economy-wise. Instead, here I am, strutting around waiting for monthly allowance for paying the rent and food etc etc.

Only Allah knows how great their sacrifices had been to bring up this imperfect boy-man. I will try to make you guys proud. God knows how, but I will try. Love you two.

Jazakallahu khairan kathir
May Allah grant you goodness



Sunday 15 January 2012

You're not my muse anymore

Promises,
You break them like they're cheap glasses,
Just like my heart its now in pieces,
with you nothing is in their places

Misery,
You brought my life such misery,
I thought you were meant for me,
Didn't know you were on with many

I don't wanna wake up to your shadow,
What's left of you is just sorrow,
You darkened my life,
You saddened my dreams
Now we're nothing but broken wings,
We were up so high,
When you chose to let go,
Now I'm back on the ground,
Spared my torn ego,
I won't look back,
You're not my muse anymore

Fantasy,
You and me were just fantasies,
I was pain and you were agony,
Destiny's now just memories

Demi cinta

Andai inilah waktunya,
nadi seakan terhenti,
nafas seakan terseksa,
cintamu pudar dihakis masa

disini jiwaku membatu,
mencuba menahan waktu,
mencuba menahan tangis,
saat kau pergi dari diriku

Ku harap kau berbahagia,
walau kisah cintaku tak sempurna,
senyumanmu lebih berharga

pergilah dari hidupku,
tak perlu kau lihat dukaku,
semuanya rela ku tempuh
demi cinta..

disini hatiku membisu,
cuba memegang janjiku,
cuba memegang sumpahku,
takkan pernah melupakanmu