Summer in Malaysia

So, here I am. 3 days away from my flight to Egypt.

I am neither sad nor happy. Extremely indifferent to the situation.

Considering I would not be coming back here for about 2 years and 3 months, the fact that I would miss my bestie's wedding, and also my brother's wedding... I should feel something? But sadly, (or should i feel thankful that I'm not on a nervous breakdown or something?) I am emotionally drained. To me, the holiday ended a long time ago. The school break was still on, but my heart longed to be back in Egypt. Back to the simple life I led there.

I guess only a few people know what I'm really going through. The experience that I got this year changed me. In a good way. Somehow I feel a bit more prepared for whatever the future holds. I've learnt that life is short - learn to appreciate the ones who appreciate you.

I have also learned that seriously, doubly seriously, if you don't have substance - love, passion, honesty, kindness, respect - you ain't going nowhere.

And lastly, friendship is the only bond that lasts (excluding family ties. that's never gonna break too, no matter how you don't like it). I thank Allah for granting me friendships that lasts since they started. To those  friends which i chose to let go, I believed it was for the best. These let-go's were heartbreaking, but necessary. I think. I don't know, but do believe that breaking a friendship is better than creating an enemy. Part ways, and move on different paths. No harm done whatsoever to our futures.

In the short span of two and a half months here in KL, I have gotten myself into a mixture of situations. There were times I felt love so great it was overwhelming - I never thought I would feel that way again. But I did, and still do. Thank you for never giving up on me. There were times when I had conflicts all around, and nobody was there for me but my depressing blog. *peluk blog kuat-kuat*. And there were family issues here and there, as usual, but through it all, we became closer to one another. Alhamdulillah.

I consider myself extremely lucky.

so yeah, I would like to end this entry with a few things I put in my wishlist for the coming academic year.
1) start taking guitar lessons. like really learn to play. I have a guitar in Egypt but never plucked a tune with it.
2) I wanna get serious at getting back in shape. seriously. doubly serious.
3) be a better person.

(academic la sgt wishlist aku kan?)

Impian Seorang Narsis

Ada ketika dia bermimpi,
Untuk menjadi sempurna,
Dikagumi dan digilai ramai,
Setiap katanya bagai kanun,
Dipercayai penuh otomatis,

Dalam konteks dunia sosialis,

Rupa gaya dan harta yang terutama,
Hati dan budi kedua ketiga,
Mudah hidup sedemikian,
Segala rintangan ditempuh rupawan

Tenanglah Di Sana

Dunia ini tak sempurna bagimu,
Terlalu banyak cela,
Tidak memahami dirimu,
Pintamu yang tertinggi,
Kau impi yang terdalam,
Jasadmu di bumi,
Kudratmu sejauh musytari
Kau istimewa tersendiri

Pergilah, pergilah,
Tiada lagi buatmu di sini,
Tiada hutang yang perlu dijelas,
Tiada dendam yang perlu dibalas,
Tenanglah di sana,
Di dalam taman syurga,
Kelak ketemu bersama,
Tiada duka, hanya bahagia