Hows your day?

Hi, I’m Syam

(Hi, Syam)

And I am an addict. 

(Applause)

(You’ll get over this)

(Proud of you for admitting you have a problem) 

(So proud!)

I was happy. 

I truly believed that leaving my old habit would make me less miserable. 

But I am not happy.

I am more miserable than ever. 

My mind keeps on repeating the good times,

The excitement that I went through,

I miss it. 

I miss all of it. 

I miss my old self when I was still consuming,

I can barely sleep without sleeping pills,

Antidepressants barely work, 

(Silence)

And the grief comes in waves, 

Each time like icy wind enveloping me,

Makes me lose track of time,

Zoning out in cold emptiness,

Dissociates from reality, 

Wishing for a time machine to exist,

So I can undo my mistakes,

I’m lost. 

And I lost.

(Thank you Syam for sharing)

(Group hug)