Sunday, 30 October 2011

a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

I've always thought that I could overcome any obstacles in life. That everything could be put in the past, that all mistakes could either be mended, forgiven, or stored in a distant square on the edge of my memory block. The truth is, however, some mistakes aren't meant to be undone, nor could it be forgiven, and are always at my hand's reach, in sight.

There was a time when I hated a person for not loving me the way I had hoped. Now I've realized that love, trust and affections aren't easily obtained, no matter how much you try to force them down the throat. Some pieces of the puzzles just won't fit the whole picture, an error that could not be repaired. Though I have really tried my best to channel my thoughts and affections to the ways that I used to follow, it didn't work out. I thought I needed time to adjust myself to the new circumstances, but it felt like I was exerting too much effort to actually feel anything at the end of the day. Love shouldn't be that hard.

There is nothing else I could say or do. I'm tired of leaving things hanging in the air, not knowing where or what  to step on. Our lives have been stagnant for far too long. It is time to move on (really move on) and start anew. Sorry may not be enough, not even appropriate in fact. We should stop blaming each other, or anyone for what has become of us. I really need to stop feeling sorry over everything. I really really wish to stop getting hurt by the same things over and over again, and above all, I wish to stop hurting you with my presence.

I really don't wish to hate anyone (ok this is a lie. there is someone i really hate, but let's not go there), or being hated by anyone, especially by someone whom have shared precious moments with me in the past two years.

Call it insufficient, or inappropriate... I'm sorry.

No comments:

Post a Comment